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“You expect me to just pay bills and die?”

It's a weekend to be thankful

It's a weekend to be thankful

It’s a weekend to be thankful.

I’m thankful. I really am.

I’m thankful for the friends that accommodated me over the last year. My life was flipped upside down, righted itself, and then flipped again. It was a tumultuous rollercoaster ride, and I can’t even begin to imagine the toll it took on those around me. I acknowledge that, and I don’t fault those that chose not to stick around, but I give the highest of accolades to those that chose to hop on the ride and say faster. Half of these faults were self-inflicted, half were a bad hand I was dealt at the table. Regardless, thank you for keeping my head above water. You know who you are. To the rest I wish you the best.

I’m thankful for the lovely women that put up with my shit. You’re all beautiful in your own unique ways, and I love that you allowed me to be apart of your lives, even if it was for a short while. You tried to save me, and I tried to save you. Magnificent and doomed to fail. Full throttle. Pedal to the metal, asleep at the wheel. I wish you the best in all of your future endeavours. Always in your corner.

I’m thankful for my friends in Hamilton that welcomed me home with open arms. The dirty bomb is back, and he’s hurting. None of you blinked. You pulled me back in, cared for me, and supported me. I’m back on my feet today because of you. Through you, I met people I never would have encountered otherwise. Holding a person up is heavy (it takes a village to raise an idiot) but with all of your hands combined, I’m not only on my feet — I’m sprinting.

I’m thankful for my mother. Her life was uprooted, and everything went to shit. An ace and a face card showed up. Yet, she still found time to attempt to help me with my own demons. Anything I needed, any push I required (and often didn’t want). This woman was a pest, in the best way possible. She pushes me to be the best version of myself, always (much to my chagrin). I’ve never seen such loss for one person who manages to give as aggressively as they do. Only my mother would be capable of that.

I’m thankful for my employers (and eventual best friends) who were mindful of my collapse, and didn’t crucify me for it. I’ll leave that at that. But, if you’re reading this, what a day to be alive.

I’m thankful. For all of you. My final mention is my brother. My bread. My butter. Brendan. I wouldn’t be alive right now were it not for him. This man has kept me stable, through the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Bipolar is a horrific thing. His patience surpasses anything I’ve experienced in my life. Maybe he does it because he ‘needs to’ as a brother, and as a family member. I don’t think so. I think he might just be the greatest example of a human we’ve ever met. I’m his older brother, and I’m always striving to be half the man he is.
 
 To be fair though, my beard is far better.

Be excellent.

JS

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