“You expect me to just pay bills and die?”

What Women Want

What Women Want

My hand rest on the small of her back.  She placed it on the cheek of her ass.   Her ‘fuck me eyes’ peer into my soul as she sips my Guinness.  Trey Songz’s ‘Inside’ plays on repeat in my mind, I'm thinking of all the ways I can bend her spine.  My friend raises his eye from the other end of the bar.  He’s seen this before, there’s only one thing left to do…

Okay, the title is pretty ambiguous and I don’t presume to know what every woman wants.  That would be foolish at best, but I did survey some of my colleagues, friends and love interests to come to these conclusions.

I have my own beliefs based on what I’ve seen in my lifetime, but to help you gentlemen out there reading this…and I know you're reading this.  These are answers from the proverbial mouths of babes.  While I do believe some of these may be bullshit, I’ll present them anyway.

The qualities a man presents is a whole package.  You can be a dime in appearance and a penny in personality, or vice versa.  Some flash the riches they’ve amassed.  Others regale with their wealth of knowledge.  There’s no quick and dirty way to find someone, unless you’re using a dating app.  It’s a process and its difficult.  To materialize a conversation with a complete stranger, out of thin air is a skill and it takes bravado.  Thats what makes it all the more appealing.  The only way to hone that skill is to jump in the deep end.   These answers may prove to be your water wings, so read carefully and take heed.

I boiled these down to the answers that were most duplicated.

HUMOUR.  Every one likes to laugh, unless you’re a Miser, in which case, good luck on your future endeavours.  Laughter sparks the release of endorphins which is a feel good chemical for the body.

INTELLIGENCE.  A beautiful mind is actually more important than a magnificent body.  Everybody exercises now, or at least, a large contingent of single males do.  Of those men, are you the one that can stand apart with your wits, knowledge and all around curiosity.

HONESTY.  A make or break in every relationship I’ve ever seen.  No one likes a liar.  Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair.

SMILE/TEETH.  A smile says so much about your personality.  Your confidence level, warmth and an openness to be approached.  If its genuine, it can do all the talking for you.  

SEXY.  This one is pretty difficult to tackle because it has layers.  I have to elaborate, so I asked every woman who did this mini survey to dig deeper and give me more. 

These answers are all great, I think based on experience that a lot was missing though.  So, here are some more for your ass, gentlemen.

~ DECIVISE “KK I don’t wanna make any executive decisions I’m just tagging along”. This would be funny if it were just one person.  Listen, some women are incredibly self sufficient and enjoy making their own decisions, others would like that task to be removed from their plate.  Whether you’re dealing with the former or the latter, you must be sure of yourself and your decisions because you may be called upon at any time.

~ SECURITY.  Fighting is so uncivilized and this isn’t that.  Being able to provide for/with someone is of ultimate importance.  Can you be the person that provides a safe haven?  That could be just a sounding board, a large spoon to watch films with, a person with ambition and drive.  This goes much deeper than just being the brawn, hence why gym life is a small part of the equation.

~ SEXED UP.  The term, vanilla, is something I never knew existed until I became a part of the service industry.  Every person's sensibilities are different and this is a case by case situation.  Some people like to be choked and bit, others like to be caressed and held.  How do you know?  Interesting question, take the cues from the banter exchanged.  Above all, know that ’NO’ means just that.  

~ ATTRACTIVE.  Remember when I said sexiness went deep.  Let’s jump into it.

How you dress is of the utmost importance.  Every single woman I questioned, answered with the same response.  Some even went as far as to say, "don’t approach me if you’re not coming correct".  The make up of your style is important for the initial attraction, even more so than your looks.  You don’t have to buy expensive, just know how to assemble the puzzle pieces to look confident and feel comfortable.  No one wants someone wearing a costume.  Be yourself and be completely assertive in your own skin.


Non verbal cues are something that are neglected all too often and they’re the most important aspect of every interaction.  Your posture, eye contact, foot placement, head position, breathing, pacing, way you walk, all of it means something. I know, I know, its a lot and most people arrive at it naturally, but others have to work at it.  I can’t give you everything in this article, but I’ll give you the means to find what you’re looking for.


Your scent defines you.  I can still pick out the fragrance of the last two women I dated.  Find the correct scent that compliments your natural body odour.  You’ll find people doing double takes if you find the correct mixture.  This is a trial and error process, but one that’s fun.  

If you’re looking to be attractive to women there’s only one way to do so.  Everything above will help, it’ll make you better.  No doubt.  You may even succeed for some time, but to have longevity with someone great, take note of my words.  Instead of looking for the right person, be the right person.  Work on yourself, be comfortable with who you are, strive for knowledge, be kind and above all, be human.

Marque Cecil

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